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Words of Wisdom
Nothing will be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome.

Golden Principle
Diversionary Glossary
Artery ]

Study of fine paintings (from the Blond Glossary of Medical Terms)
Other definitions...

Polls
Have you ever had "relations" in your office? (Be honest, now.)
Yes
No
Define "relations"
All things being equal, would you rather be self-employed or someone else's employee?
Self-employed
Employee
Idle rich
Who would you trust more with your money?
Corporate America in 2003
Gollum (my precioussssssss)
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Super Mario Brothers - Live Performance

Scenes from the "Golden Goose" - A yearly talent show held at Gordon College in Wenham, Massachusetts. This video is a "live" performance of the entire first level from Super Mario Brothers (Who says college isn't worth the tuition?).

 


Anecdotes

Complete List of Phobias

Ever sit at your desk scratching your head and wondering what may be the cause of the nameless dread gnawing at your vitals and causing your hand to shiver as you ladle non-dairy creamer into the 7-hour-old industrial coffee-substitute in your pink novelty mug? Well, here's the list you need to name that dread.

 

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Anecdotes

Do you really have what it takes to work with us?

 

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Anecdotes

Halloween Costume Suggestions for Office Parties

We’ve compiled a short list of suggestions for what to wear to that much anticipated event, the Office Halloween Party, when all the echelons of office society are suddenly rendered equal, as each and every one looks like a total jackass. Most of these costumes can be easily created using materials in your own office, particularly if you work on a potato farm.

 

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Anecdotes

Zen in Life and Work

As our reliable friend Murphy has taught us, everything in life has rules. Here's a listing that covers many areas your mother never taught you.

 

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Anecdotes

----2035 Headlines----

Ever want to see what the future holds? Well one thing is for sure, it will certainly be as entertaining as the world is today.

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.

 

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Anecdotes

In order to complete any job at work, it is important important for you to follow some of the advice provided below.

 

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Anecdotes

These 8 simple steps will assist anyone wishing to climb that ladder -- no matter what career path you are on or place of work.


 

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Anecdotes

Have you run out of excuses for being sick and need some help? Here are a few for you to try at your own risk.

 

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Anecdotes

While the job might be stupid and management unwise, there is always some wisdom to be gleaned.

 

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Anecdotes

Do you ever feel overworked, under-appreciated, over-regulated, under-benefited, over-burdened, under-leisured, and mis-managed? Take heart; things have improved greatly. This notice was found in the ruins of a London office building. It was dated 1852:

 

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Anecdotes

These phrases are useful during those situations when you have been stupified by one of those dumb and idiotic ides that only your boss could think up. Find your voice here and be speechless no more!!

 

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Anecdotes

To: All Employees
From: Your Caring Management
Subject: Office Conduct During the Holiday Season

Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines that are a direct result of experiences we have had to address over the past few years by the Management Committee's Holiday Abuse Meeting Monitors of Employee Responsibility (More commonly referred to as: MC HAMMER).

 

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Anecdotes

A nifty web application that instantly lists every possible work holiday you could possibly imagine. Plan a ski trip in 2007, or a dentist appointment in 2144. You'll really need one by then.

 

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Anecdotes

Did you ever have one of those days where your mood wasn't in sync with the stress provided at work? Here are some useful expressions for you to use on those days.

 

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IMPORTANT LIFE EXPECTANCY SURVEY

Life is too short
    not to lengthen it...

Important Survey Reveals Long-term Medical Importance of Active On-the-job Stress Reduction

An impartial international survey just concluded by the Statistical Research Arm & Kidney of Office Diversions announced Thursday that between five and sixty minutes per work day of active engagement in an intrinsically non-productive activity, such as a visit to Office Diversions, can prolong your life.

”Thanks to the Office Diversions’ jokes I've been reading and word search puzzles I’ve been doing at work for the past few months,” said Elbert Clamptrow, 47, a fictional Actuarial Assistant from Lima, Idaho, ”I expect to live at least three weeks longer.”

Clamptrow explained that he generally programs his voice-mail with ”Elbert is in a meeting” in order to achieve the clam and dental focus required to find a particularly challenging up-left diagonal. We think he meant ”calm” and ”mental”.

Furthermore, a five-minute visit to OD has been proven to be at least 88% less likely to give you lung cancer or heart disease than a five-minute cigarette or narcotics break.

Other results indicate dramatic life-span improvements thanks to OD-provided on-the-job therapy, as catalogued in the chart below:


 

Estimated results for daily OD visitation over a period of fifteen work-years:

Minutes spent visiting Office Diversions / day
Extra life (weeks, est.)*
0
0
5-10
1-15
11-20
16-40
21-60
41-200
>60
-20 (due to stress associated with premature canning)


Chart courtesy OD Research Arm & Kidney. Survey consisted of numerous off-the-cuff questions asked, often over beer, of various still-living friends and acquaintances of OD staff members. Individual results may vary. Results are inconclusive, as individuals questioned have not yet exceeded their expected life expectancies.
* Barring unforeseen death

CROSSWORD PUZZLES

JIGSAW PUZZLES

OFFICE JOKES

WORD SEARCH PUZZLES

OFFICE PRANKS

OFFICE GAMES

OFFICE POLLS

MEETING SURVIVAL

OFFICE HAIKU GENERATOR

XTREME OFFICE SPORTS

OFFICE LABORATORY EXPERIMENTS

OFFICE ANECDOTES

BRAIN TWISTERS

GAMES DIRECTORY

ENTERTAINING LINKS

EMAIL EAVESDROPPING

OFFICE OCCULT


HUMOROUS OFFICE MERCHANDISE

 

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Did you know...?
PARIS HILTON is an anagram of : A HIP NOSTRIL, LOIN HARPIST and LOST HAIRPIN.
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